By the Rev. Kate Bobbitt
Several
years ago while serving in another diocese, I was one of five participants asked
to interview a candidate for youth leader in our parish. I asked the new
college graduate, “If I came to you and said I have a grandson who is gay and
he would like to join your youth group, what would your response to me be?”
“I
would sit him down and talk with him about being gay and explain to him that it
is a sin and point out verses in the Bible that explain why it is a sin.”
The position that graduate took has haunted me ever since. As a life time member of the Episcopal Church, I have always loved the openness that has been present in our church. Regardless of one’s personal opinion about homosexuality, I have always found the leadership in our community to be fair and just. We have not always agreed on issues but we ‘come to the table’ with our issues and discuss them openly. At least this has been the practice in almost every church I have had the honor to serve.
I don’t have grandchildren but if I did, and if my grandson happened to be gay, I would hope and pray that my church would welcome him. “The Episcopal Church Welcome’s You”, is not just an ornament or a fixture decorating our church grounds. And if we want to be exclusive about who we welcome into our midst, then let’s not put up a facade by displaying a sign that is just an affront to what we actually do believe.
And
it’s not just the Church as an organization that should be welcoming – it’s all
of us.
How
inclusive are you? If a young gay person came to you and asked, “does the
church want me to come?” What would you do?
What would I do? I would sit the young person down and we would talk about what it means to be gay and in the church. I would let him know that there are some who would not do well with the knowledge that he is gay and it would be best if he kept the knowledge to himself. I would also tell him that there are also some who don't care whether or not he is gay. This is a reality in many of the congregations in our diocese. If the particular congregation would not accept him I would steer him in the direction of one that would be more accepting. I would also encourage him to be involved in the youth group and to contact Integrity so we could assist him in his quest to find a safe place to worship.
ReplyDeleteThere are many places where he could learn and grow but there are also many places where he would be unwelcome. The key is to find a place where he fits in and pray for the places where he wouldn't be accepted.
Susan Pederson
Integrity Board Member
St. Stephen's - Norfolk
Ben Carey MD
ReplyDeleteGalilee Church
Virginia Beach
Please see my prior posts on the other strings for a further amplification of my thoughts. The term "homosexual" may cover the range of homosexual attraction all the way to engaging in homosexual sexual activity. I think that it is incredibly important to differentiate between homosexual orientation vs homosexual behavior, ie engaging in sexual activity between members of the same sex. The young boy may have homosexual feelings and this is not unusual in adolescent males. I would explain that these feeling are not unusual and may pass with time. I would also explain that scripture does not specifically address homosexual feelings. On the other hand, I would tell him that the Bible has many sexual prohibitions, both homosexual and heterosexual and I would offer him the scriptural references that are well known to all of us. I would then tell him that he has to make choices in his life about his behavior and ask him if thinks that his behavior is pleasing to God. That is what I would do and then I would tell him that I am praying for him and that we are to pray for one another. I would refer him to James 5: 16 so that he would understand that scripture is very clear regarding confession, healing, and prayer.
We are not called to accept the sin, but rather to accept the sinner. More specifically, we are not to lead others to sin. I am concerned about the above posts for this reason:
Do you not see that in your focus upon being inclusive, that you are accepting the sin and indirectly encouraging the sin? How do you understand this in light of Matthew 18: 6? Jesus accepted the adulterous woman (John 8: 1-11), but after he stated that He did not condemn her, He also told her "go, and sin no more" (vs 11). We are forgiven of our sins, but we are also commanded to stop sinning.
Rather than trying to find a place where we can feel comfortable, we should be examining how our lives are to be a reflection of God's plan and if we are sinning, then we need to confess our sins, repent of our sins, and be transformed in to a new creation (I John 1: 8-10, John 3: 1-15, and Romans 12: 1-2). Is not this what we should all be doing, rather than trying to find a place where we feel that we are accepted? Social acceptance is transitory, but God's Kingdom is permanent and therefore, let us focus on pleasing Him and not ourselves.
Ben Carey MD
Psychiatrist
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThe signs which state "The Episcopal Church Welcomes You" are wonderful but they do need a logical context. After all, does the welcome sign imply that any form of sin or wrongful behavior is to be condoned? The Church is a hospital and as such should act as an agent of Christ to steer sinners away from behaviors proscribed by the Bible and 2000 years of Christian tradition. On the other hand, if the Church simply acts as a faint agent of the secular culture and condones sin, it is not being true to its mission.
ReplyDeleteHomosexual practice---as distinct from mere orientation----is sin. The Church is called to welcome sinners and to aid in their repentance. Accordingly, bring the young grandson into the Church and tell him that Christ can enable him to lead of life of sexual virtue and decency. Homosexuality is far from God's standard.
James Deviese, Christ the King