A Scriptural model for living together in our differences

By the Rev. Keith Emerson, St. Paul's, Suffolk

Because the bible is so central and dear to those who oppose the blessing of same-gender unions, it is well worth noting that there is a situation in Scripture very similar to what we find in the Episcopal Church today.  This passage is taken from the fourteenth chapter of Paul’s letter to the Church in Rome:

¹Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarrelling over opinions. ²Some believe in eating anything, while the weak eat only vegetables. ³Those who eat must not despise those who abstain, and those who abstain must not pass judgment on those who eat; for God has welcomed them. ⁴Who are you to pass judgment on servants of another? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall.  And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

⁵ Some judge one day to be better than another, while others judge all days to be alike.  Let all be fully convinced in their own minds. ⁶Those who observe the day, observe it in honor of the Lord.  Also those who eat, eat in honor of the Lord, since they give thanks to God; while those who abstain, abstain in honor of the Lord and give thanks to God.

⁷ We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. ⁸If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. ⁹For to this end Christ died and lived again, so that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living.

¹⁰ Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister?  For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. ¹¹For it is written, ‘As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall give praise to God.’ ¹²So then, each of us will be accountable to God.

Here we find Paul addressing two incredibly difficult and divisive issues in his day.  Jewish-Christians in Rome believed strongly in following the dietary laws of the original covenant. They had been raised with this practice from childhood. It was central both to their faith and to their identity. They ate only vegetables in Rome perhaps because no kosher meat was available or because it was impossible to know whether or not the meat had been used first in a pagan ritual. Gentile-Christians, not being raised in the original covenant, had no reservations about eating non-kosher food. The two groups also differed on the proper day or days to gather for worship. One group chose Saturday (the traditional day of Sabbath) while the other worshiped on Sunday (the day of the Resurrection). One group observed Jewish festivals and fasts, the other group did not. We live in an era when these disputes have long been resolved, but it is still possible to imagine the level of discord they created in the early church.

Being the Body

By Tony Robinson, St. Thomas, Chesapeake

I must admit that I have been struggling with what to write for this blog ever since I was asked to do so in December.  I wasn’t sure why I found it so difficult, but in the end I guess it was because I was asking the wrong questions.  Just as I think many in this debate are answering the wrong question.

One side defends their position as a matter of absolute Biblical interpretation, the other as a matter of absolute grace.  One side berates the other as unfaithful to the Word of God; the other as unfaithful to the ministry of Jesus.

Oh, it’s all done with civility (for the most part), but the underlying tone is still there.  The explanations of positions do little.  Minds are unchanged; hearts are unmoved; and the road toward anger and schism is built with the paving stones of misunderstanding.

But what is being misunderstood?

Each side interprets Scripture and knows that if they just use the right method to explain it, the other side will see the error of their ways and correct their way of thinking.  But I think that this makes an erroneous and potentially dangerous assumption; i.e. that the Holy Spirit is not working in that other person.

People on both sides of this issue approach Scripture prayerfully and spiritually and come to different conclusions.  Why?

Confronting the question of inclusion

 By the Rev. Maria Kane

As I pulled into my friend Frances’ gravel driveway six years ago, I could barely contain my excitement. A year earlier, Frances--an unassuming fifty-ish woman who loved the color green, turtlenecks, and Native American history--had quietly and rather imperceptibly broken through the layers of my wounded soul and guided me in to a place of awe and wonder. Now, we were reuniting for a weekend visit.

After exchanging hugs on the front porch and dropping off my luggage in the warmly-appointed guest room, she led me to the kitchen and with a deep appreciation in her eyes, introduced me to Marie, her partner of twenty-five years. Wait. Frances is gay? How did I miss that? I wondered. Reaching out to hug Marie I tried to conceal my surprise.

Although I joined the Episcopal Church as a teenager, I still struggled to eradicate the voices of moral superiority that had shaped my evangelical childhood. While I knew people who were gay or lesbian, I had always assumed an attitude of measured distance and indifference, not quite believing that they were “living in sin,” but also unwilling to confront questions of inclusion and justice. “Live and let live” was my attitude. Standing in Marie and Frances’ sun-light kitchen I found myself questioning those beliefs.

What would you do?

By the Rev. Kate Bobbitt

Several years ago while serving in another diocese, I was one of five participants asked to interview a candidate for youth leader in our parish. I asked the new college graduate, “If I came to you and said I have a grandson who is gay and he would like to join your youth group, what would your response to me be?”

“I would sit him down and talk with him about being gay and explain to him that it is a sin and point out verses in the Bible that explain why it is a sin.”

The position that graduate took has haunted me ever since. As a life time member of the Episcopal Church, I have always loved the openness that has been present in our church. Regardless of one’s personal opinion about homosexuality, I have always found the leadership in our community to be fair and just. We have not always agreed on issues but we ‘come to the table’ with our issues and discuss them openly. At least this has been the practice in almost every church I have had the honor to serve. 

My Story

This post is written by a member of the diocesan Episcopal Youth Community (EYC). The post is anonymous due to the author's age.

Hello, I am a local member of your EYC. When I realized I was gay I was terrified. I was terrified about what accepting myself meant for the way my life would work out but mostly I was afraid of how my family would react. I come from a fairly conservative family; I am a “Cradle Episcopalian” and I go to church every Sunday. My parents reacted with complete denial when I tried to come out (twice) and they still talk about boyfriends like I’ll be dating men again any day now. (note: I don’t really care at this point if they know or not. As long as they’re okay by my wedding we should be good!)

On the note of my eventual wedding, I want more than anything to be married in the Episcopal Church. The church has raised me in a way that will leave me forever connected to its grounds and I can’t begin to describe how happy it would make me to marry in my home church. I have even found several priests willing to do so when I’m ready as soon as the bishop gives the go ahead. I don’t imagine myself with a huge white wedding, but rather a closely knit affair with lots of joking and partying all through the night. I am not unusual in that respect.