Do our differences have to keep us apart?

 By Juli Edwards, St. Christopher's, Portsmouth

The Episcopal Church welcomes you.  The church is a safe space where we can escape the persecution of the outside world, right?  A place where all our sins are forgiven and we can be ourselves, accepted as we are, loved and welcomed by all?  Although many may strive for this and this is what many may believe and feel the church should be offering, it is not the reality.  This kind of belief only makes the pain hurt more when people disagree, when someone is asked to leave, or told that they are not welcome as they are in a parish.  Do our differences have to keep us apart?

There are times in our lives when we all come together despite our differences.  Examples of these times are weddings, funerals, family gatherings, etc.  The church is our family and we should learn to come together despite our differences.  These blog posts have offered a starting space to practicing just that.  Can we treat one another with respect?  Can we learn to listen and really hear one another?  Can we sit in the pew and, although some may disagree with the blessing of same-gender unions, be prayerfully present? 

There are many on each side of this disputed question.  There are those who feel to their core that it is the wrong Christian thing to go forward with blessings of same-gender unions.  There are those who believe that God is very present in their same-gender commitment to the person they love or in the same-gender relationship of their friend or family member.  Whichever direction our diocese goes following General Convention there will be those who are hurt deeply by that decision.  How do we deal with this hurt?

When we are hurting we often go to see our spiritual leaders to talk it out and get some feedback on ways to deal with our hurt.  We also will often seek support and love from our church family.  We know that a decision is going to be made one way or the other following General Convention and we should begin to plan now how we will continue to live out our promise to one another with Christ still at the center of our relationships. 

This blog is one way we are practicing, sharing together despite our differences.  Each of our individual parishes may want to have their own way for us to come together and support each other through the hurt some will have.  What I believe is most important is to be honest with one another.  To talk about our hurt or to listen to those who are hurting.  It is through listening to one another we can begin to understand where the other person is coming from. 

What can we do to support one other through the pain and ensure we are living the life Christ intended for us, loving one another as ourselves?